In My Antonia there are two types of women, those who want to have a man and those who donıt. The key word is want, at no point does a woman need a man in the entire course of the novel. From the Hired Girls to Tiny Soderball and Lena Lingard women are capable of self sufficiency and happiness. The majority of the truly contented people are either alone or living without the opposite sex. Antonia and Cuzak are the only example of a ³normal² happy couple, all others have some problems that prevent a normal relationship.
In the Hired Girls Antonia and Lena are depicted as strong, independent women who work to support themselves and their families and enjoying themselves as they see fit. ³...Country girls who had come to town to earn a living, and in nearly every case, to help the father struggle out of debt, or to make it possible for the younger children of the family to go to school.²(My Antonia, Willa Cather. p.172) In this case it is the father who needs the daughter as opposed to the more traditional ³faces in the schoolroom, gay and rosy, or listless and dull, cut off below the shoulders² (My Antonia, Willa Cather, p173) The hired girls are seen as strong in both a physical and mental sense when compared to their wallflower counterparts who simply live the life expected of them by society. The hired girls are the draft horses, the people who accomplish things, of female society in Black Hawk, while the daughters of the merchants are the show horses, wanted only as long as theyıre pretty.
The ultimate examples of non-dependance on males in the book are Lena Lingard and Tiny Soderball. Lena Lingard is a successful dressmaker who has no desire for the standard womanly duties of childbearing and housekeeping. ³Well, itıs mainly because I donıt want a husband. Men are all right for friends, bu as soon as you marry them they turn into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones. They begin to tell you whatıs sensible and whatıs foolish, and want you to stick at the home all the time. I prefer to be foolish when I feel like it, and be accountable to nobody.²ı(My Antonia, Willa Cather, p.234) Lena, despite her views maintains an air of femininity due to her work in one of the few female dominated industries of the time. Tiny Soderball, however differs greatly from Lena despite their similar independence. Where Lena continued in a field that she knew well and merely embraced a nonstandard philosophy, Tiny broke the established stereotypes. Both these women are content with their lot in life and donıt complain about their difficulties. The old woman from Candide would have been anathema to them ²misfortunes confer certain rights. If I were in your place , I confess I should not have the least scruple in marrying the govenor...²ı (Candide, Voltaire, p.135)
Antonia and Cuzak are the only major exception to the pattern of problem marriages. This is not because they are somehow blessed, they are representing an ideal. The ideal of the perfect frontier family, a happy marriage, a large family, toleration for others faults, and a prosperous life. The Waltons have arrived in Black Hawk. Antonia has the life she wanted and Cuzak is happy in the life she has chosen for them, Antonia is the true head of the house. She may not decide the day to day activities, but she sets the policies.
If one wanted to be purely technical, neither men nor women need each other at all. The sticking point is that both want the other, usually for different reasons. Most of the characters in this book have found ³Surrogate Activities² (Unabomber p.?). They are the first signs of the societal changes that the Unabomber decries in his/her manifesto. Perhaps when we have achieved a deeper understanding of the impulses that motivate people we will know the truth of need and want, until then we will live torn between a desire for independence and a desire to belong.