Phil and Elisabeth have sold their house for $760,000.

They moved to Florida.

They no longer play the 11:00 Mass.

I didnπt think I would miss Phil and Elisabethπs musical stylings. And I donπt. I cringed when I was at the Harbor House and the old show tunes bounced off the ceilings. I slipped out of weddings when they were playing ≥Stardust.≤ Auctions, fundraisers, dinners, breakfasts, even a childrenπs parade got marred by their music.

But small communities need Phil and Elisabeth Grochowski. They were good people who were generous with their time and their energy, far more generous than I have ever been. They played all the Christmas shows because thatπs what they felt they owed the community. They invested in us. I may not have liked what they were depositing, but they were doing it.

This weekend also brings the brief return of Jackie and Martin Fuller, with their three children. Martin painted, framed, banged nails, and dug ditches out here for years while Jackie taught Special Ed in the high school. They built one small house in the early nineties, traded up to a bigger one, then sold that one and left. While I was visiting the two of them and their children out at Tom Nevers playground, I was struck by all that we had missed in the last four years. Her position at the school has churned through three different individuals, none of them staying long enough for tenure. The schools miss her and I am sure the trades community misses him. Their children will not go through our schools, will not march at Halloween, join the Boy Scouts, or get inducted into National Honor Society.

I would like to believe that Nantucket and Nantucketers are different from the rest of Americans. We leave our cars unlocked, wait at crosswalks, give directions, tow hapless tourists out of deep sand, donate to charity and put our tired goods at the Take It or Leave It. We generally go out of our way to help other people, in particular other islanders, as best we can. In short, I think we all act a little like Phil and Elisabeth.

So, seeing the finality of the sale in the real estate pages brings home the loss to Nantucket. Losing Phil and Elisabeth echoes the loss of Arthur Desrocher, Rob Norton, and countless others who have cashed in and moved on in the last few years. They made decisions that were right for them and for their families. Noone can condemn them for that.

But, if we want year round Nantucket to remain a community and not a resort, we need to find a way to retain Jackie, Martin, Phil and Elisabeth. Otherwise, we will be stuck with the Ratners, the Betts, and the Rasmussens who will phone their lawyers from Connecticut and Florida and demand that we turn back the tide. The Ratners take, Grochowski gave.

Living in a community is different from living in a resort. In a community, you need to give what you have for others. You need to think about trying to help someone else. You need to play Christmas Carols at the Odd Fellows and do some ≥quid pro quo≤ painting. You need to balance your neighborπs interests against your own wishes. In a resort, you have rights and rules. Other people, who accept your money, have duties. You demand that the Superintendent keep your walk clear of trash. You rat out your neighborπs black lab to the condo association

I hope, in the end, Judy Seinfeld and other private landowners in the area agree to build a new road for the Sheep Pond summer residents. At the same time, I hope the rest of the Beach Foundation gives up the idea of Whispr-Wave. The wave blockers may save their houses, but they will undoubtedly affect others.

More importantly, I hope all of our new residents hope to join a community and not a resort. Nature and economics has a way of destroying resorts, while communities last through storms and tides, booms and busts.